In future news: boil order cancelled, announced

Today's headline: "Boil Order Lifted For Waukegan Water"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Waukegan Residents Finally Notified About Boil Order And Death Of Jack Benny"

Today's headline: "Obamas Host Congressional Leaders For Dinner"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Norovirus Sweeps Through Republican Congressional Leadership"

Today's headline: "Man Admits Attacking Chuck E. Cheese Mascot"; "D.C. Bus Driver Punches Out McGruff"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Cheese, McGruff Unite To Exact Horrible Revenge"

Today's headline: "Producer: `Bachelor' Finale Wasn't Fixed"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Americans Plead With Rest Of Civilized World Not To Read Too Much Into The Whole 'Bachelor' Fascination"

Today's headline: "Manny Ramirez Signs 2-Year Contract With Los Angeles Dodgers"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Manny Ramirez Takes Field In Underwear And Bath Robe, Falls Asleep On Warning Track, Homers"