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In future news: local state champs

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Today's headline: "Waukegan Beats Zion-Benton 70-64"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Waukegan Plays In Peoria: Bulldogs Win 4A Title"

Today's headline: "Thousands Expected At Peace Rallies Across Northern Ireland"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Millions Of Americans Who Couldn't Find Ireland On A Map Expected To Condemn Recent Violence By Binge Drinking On March 17"

Today's headline: "Gates Loses $18B, Still World's Richest Man: The Number Of Billionaires In The World Shrank Dramatically In The Last Year"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Everyone Wants To Give Gates A Wedgie Anyway"

Today's headline: "Grandpa, Son, Grandson Accused Of Burglary"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Police Questioning Embryonic Great-Grandson"

Today's headline: "NHL General Managers Propose Rules To Curb Fights"

Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "NHL Curbs Fighting, Folds"

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