Today's headline: "County Braces For Feared Swine Flu Pandemic"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Jittery Co-Worker Freaking Out, Talking Your Ear Off About The Whole Swine Flu Thing"
Today's headline: "Same-Sex Couples Begin Tying The Knot In Iowa"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Leno, Letterman, 'Daily Show' Writers Generate Eight Months' Worth Of 'Gay Iowa' Jokes"
Today's headline: "Talladega A Disaster Waiting To Happen Unless Changes Are Made"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Tickets For Mountain Dew 250 Sell Out In Record Time At Talladega"
Today's headline: "'Wolverine' Claws Way Into Theaters"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "If You Had A Girlfriend, She Would Want To See 'Ghosts of Girlfriends Past' Instead"
Today's headline: "Ben Gordon Celebrates His Clutch Shot In An Interesting Way"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Millions Of Young Basketball Players Mimicking 'Clutch Gordon'"
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