Today's headline: "Sabonjian Campaign Worker Claims He Was Assaulted"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Historically Low Turnout For Waukegan Mayoral Election"
Today's headline: "'Fast & Furious' Shatters Box Office Records"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Officials Puzzled By Mysterious Spike In Speeding Ticket Revenue"
Today's headline: "Axelrod Hits Back At Cheney: Not Behaving Like A 'Statesman'"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Cheney Invites Axelrod To Go Quail Hunting"
Today's headline: "Cutler Starts Fresh With Bears"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Bear Fans Boo Cutler Out Of Town As Bears Lose Opening Preseason Game"
Today's headline: "The Cubs Win The World Series? It Will Happen -- Finally -- In 2009"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Bluefield Daily Telegraph Sports Department Issues Retraction"
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