Today's headlines: "Waukegan DUI Arrests At 241 Since October"; "Waukegan May Extend Bars' Last-Call Times"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Waukegan Shatters Midwest, U.S. Records For DUI Arrests"
Today's headline: "Sotomayor Fractures Ankle En Route To Senate"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Tonya Harding, Jeff Gillooly, Newt Gingrich Sought For Questioning In Sotomayor Incident"
Today's headline: "Sprint Breaks Sales Record With Palm Pre"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Your Kid Wants Palm Pre; Emotional Detachment From Family Hinted At If Demands Aren't Met"
Today's headline: "Will Ferrell's 'Land Of The Lost' Will Likely Go Down As One Of Summer's Biggest Flops"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Producers Behind 'Land Of The Lost' Wonder Why Film Version Of Horrible TV Show Ended Up Being Horrible"
Today's headline: "Guillen Sounds Off After Tigers Beat White Sox, 5-4"
Tomorrow's headline, only from the crystal ball of The Swami: "Naked, Incoherent Ozzie Guillen Calmly Discusses Team's Inability To Manage Pressure Situations Successfully"
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