Hey, Swami:
Where in the heck have you been? Please tell me the crystal ball is back just in time for Kickoff Weekend in the NFL -- and please tell me I'll be able to stick it to my Packer Backer co-workers on Monday morning.
Hopefully,
Decatur Staley
Dear Mr. Staley:
Indeed, the Swami has returned from an extended tour of the Far East and parts unknown, keeping abreast of the latest innovations in soothsaying. And, also indeed, the Crystal Ball is polished and ready to assist with wagers of principle, if not principal:
-- Chicago Bears at Green Bay Packers: The Monsters of the Midway are now 59 years overdue for a true Franchise Quarterback. The Pack is now 17 years overdue for a significant injury to a starting quarterback. Something has to give, and it will on Sunday night. The Swami's pick: Bears.
-- Minnesota Vikings at Cleveland Browns: Speaking of nearly two full decades without a significant injury, Brett Favre has defied all logic and many a Swami prediction over the years, but if the elderly quarterback finishes the 2009 season without his right arm fragmenting, the Swami will eat his head dressing. The pick: Browns.
-- Detroit Lions at New Orleans Saints: Remember 2008, when the Swami picked the Lions to win every week as the season wound down, citing such things as "the law of averages"? Lesson learned. The pick: Saints.
-- Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots: Bill Belichick has been waiting all summer to exact a horrible revenge upon the fools who bested him in 2008. Should Tom Brady fail him, expect the quarterback to be found bloodied and cast into a Dumpster come Monday. The pick: Patriots.
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