NFL Week 3: Sweetness in Seattle?

Yo, Swami:

So if the Bears beat the Seahawks in Seattle on Sunday, they could be in first place by Monday. But I noticed the Vikings get to play the 49ers at home, after they beat the mighty Browns and Lions. Please tell me this cream-puff schedule will come back to bite them.

Ursus Arctos

Dear Bear:

You'll be happy to know that the Bears and Vikings (the whole NFC North for that matter) play a very similar schedule this year. They each play six division games, four games against the NFC West and four games against the AFC North. The other two games are more random. Minnesota just happens to be getting its cupcakes out of the way early. So while the Bears get to end their season against the hapless Lions, Minnesota will be playing the scary Giants. So cheer up, buttercup, it's not that bad. And with pastries in mind, we move on to this week's picks ...

Chicago Bears at Seattle Seahawks: With follicly-challenged Seahawk quarterback Matt Hasselbeck likely out of the game, Seattle will turn to backup Seneca Wallace. College football fans may remember Wallace from this run. Well, this is the NFL. The only humans making plays like that are nicknamed "Sweetness." Swami's pick: Bears.

Kansas City Chiefs at Philadelphia Eagles: Noted dog lover Michael Vick makes his official return to the NFL this weekend. If some people have their way, he will spend the game as one giant dog treat. The karma is just too strong to ignore. But so it the Chief ineptitude. Swami's pick: Eagles.

San Francisco 49ers at Minnesota Vikings: The Vikings love sweets. They have a baby at quarterback, and two fatties on the defensive line. All that candy is bound to slow them down eventually. Swami's pick: 49ers.

Green Bay Packers at St. Louis Rams: The Swami doesn't usually like to pick any game involving the Rams, but I'm always looking for an excuse to run this video. Sweet-looking 1980s dancing aside, there is little chance for this year's edition of the Rams to pull this game out. So in keeping up with a sweets theme, this game will be as easy as taking candy from a baby. Or candy from an appropriately-themed candy jar. Swami's pick: Packers.