Swami:
The Fourth is just a couple days away and I saw what you wrote about some guy who sells good fireworks out of his van. I can't get any good stuff at the stores here in Illinois so I hope you can tell me where to go.
Anonymous
Dear Future Emergency Room Visitor:
If you really need to find the dude in the van that badly, try heading east on Washington Street and go about two miles due east of Sheridan Road. He'll look for you.
In all seriousness, your question shines a spotlight on another harsh reality of the economy in 2008: gas prices are so out of control that citizens who want to blow stuff up real good will have to make some hard choices about driving to Wisconsin or Indiana for their quasi-legal purchases.
That drive to the barns across the state lines has become a luxury. At $4.25 per gallon and a 1995 Ford Explorer that gets 17 miles to the gallon, tops, you're looking at spending $34 in fuel alone if you go from Lake County to the Phantom Fireworks in Highland, Ind.
And if you really want to load up the truck with things that aren't sold (legally) in the Land if Lincoln or America's Dairyland or the Hoosier State, your trip to Arkansas (where consumers aged 12 and older can purchase things like Roman candles, skyrockets, shells and helicopter rockets) will run you about $350 in gas.
(Missouri is also pretty wide open about these things, only you have to wait until you're 14.)
Whatever you decide to do, Mr. or Miss Anon, remember this important safety tip: when lighting fireworks, keep a bucket of water handy. This way, you can stick your mangled hand in there, and it will make the trip to the hospital a little less excruciating.
