Our towns: December 2007 Archives

Swami: And we wonder why Waukegan is the new "Mecca" for illegal immigrants. Not 1. Not 2. 20 soccer fields. TWENTY? Great googly moogly. What in the world is the park district thinking? A good portion of the folks that will be kicking around the soccer balls probably, I didn't say definitively, but probably don't pay taxes to begin with. All of their $$ is headed back across the border in the way of a Western Union money orders. Here's a plan. Why not open up an I.C.E. (immigration enforcement) office at the entrance to this new 20 soccer field Mecca and see how many people show up to play. Maybe we should change the name of our city to Mexakegan and just forget about it. Signed: CHIEF

Dear Swami : Americans, old and young alike, show little interest in soccer. For two decades, the great American consumer machine has tried to create a market for soccer with little success. Golf, basketball, baseball, and football dominate the sports pages. Yet, the park district, in its infinite wisdom, chooses to destroy a beautiful green space dedicated to a highly popular sport that's extremely popular with all age groups. It's a travesty, and I smell a rat. Who's getting rich off this? Signed: Rat Smeller in Zion

Dear Swami,

Tell me if you believe in immortality. Are we all living lives that we’ve already lived before, and just trying to get better at the task of existence as we experience eternity in a series of short bursts? I think so. Signed: Don’t Call Me Shirley in Fox Lake

Swami, You ignorant dolt. Obviously you are either very uneducated concerning your comment that flying squirrels do not live in Lake County or you are smoking something very illegal. Signed: Friend of Flying Squirrels.

Dear Swami, I live in Green Oaks and we have flying squirrels in our attic. My husband is always seeing them fly in and out of our attic. They are scary. What should I do, oh Wise Protector Against Flying Squirrels? Signed: Very Squirrelly in Green Oaks