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The News Swami: Our towns: May 2008 Archives

Our towns: May 2008 Archives

Swami:

Last month you called on the Waukegan City Council to get rid of public comment time, and instead they came up with some list of "commandments" to keep people in line. Since they didn't listen to you the first time, what's your alternate plan?

Ferme La Bouche

Monsieur:

The most disappointing thing about Waukegan's new "comment commandments" is that, even though they were clearly going for a Moses/Mount Sinai thing, they only came up with SEVEN commandments. If the mayor and alder-people were really looking to make a statement, they should have poured some strong coffee, pulled an all-nighter and cranked out three more commandments. Or just called them "the seven deadly sins" or something.

Let The Swami show you how easy this could have been. Here, off the top of Swami's turban, are three commandments they should have thrown on the tablets:

VIII: Thou shalt not put the senior alderman to sleep during your allotted three minutes.

IX: Thou shalt not forget to state your name and address before speaking. If you forget or otherwise fail to do so, you will be summarily wrestled to the ground, pepper-sprayed, handcuffed and thrown into a concrete cell that hasn't been mopped in weeks.

X: Thou shalt not express moral outrage over anything less than homicides, criminal abuse of authority, and/or bona fide civil rights violations. Everything else is a pet peeve and you should already know that no one else cares.

There you have it. If you're going to go ahead and do something like allow public comment, you might as well do it right.


Swami:

I'm outraged that the Grayslake mayor and police chief canceled the motorcycle show at the fairgrounds last weekend. Was this a legitimate threat, or was it just "biker" profiling by the cops?

Ticked on the Tri-State

Tick:

The short answer: A little from category a, and a little from category b. When the Grayslake village people called off the planned Ironhorse Roundup Bike Show, the natives were restless because it was done late on a Friday and, some say, the news was sent out by carrier pigeon.

When the full explanation came out, the situation was still testy, but at least there was a worst-case scenario to envision: If the Grayslake bigwigs were told about a gang threat on Friday and went ahead with an event on Sunday and violence broke out that left someone dead on Monday, there would be absolute hell to pay, not to mention many lawyers.

On the other hand, gang threats are not exactly rare things in this part of the world, and you can bet that basketball games and football games have gone off as planned, not just here but everywhere, after John Law received "information about circumstances which threaten the health and public safety of those attending the event." They just pump up the numbers of constables, keep an extra eye open, send people through a few more checkpoints, and the terrorists don't win.

So maybe the powers-that-be erred on the side of over-caution. Whatever the case, the Swami foresees that there will not be peace in the valley until Grayslake successfully hosts a motorcycle show and everyone forgets an angry weekend in May 2008.

Wait a minute ... maybe Vince Neil can act as a peacemaker ...