Recently in Politics Category

Swami, you've been gone and your fans have missed you. Both of us. We thought you were gone for good. Thank goodness you're back. So what's up first on the plate of public policy and disputive disharmony? Signed, Dipsy in Deerfield

Ah, where to begin, Dip?

It seems to make so much sense that Swami is almost sure there's no chance for a bill being tossed around Springfield this week.

It would place on the November ballot the right of Illinois voters to recall their state officials through a petition/electoral process. It's not necessarily better than tar and feathers, but it is somewhat more orderly.

Naturally, the Guv is against it (though he claims au contraire in public which no one believes for a moment) and of course Chicago's Hizzoner thinks it's a bad idea, too. What? Democracy in Chicago? Can't conceive of such a thing.

Gosh, you think there's any connection between the jobs being done by Blago and Richie and the threat to their futures such a bill hints at? Hints? Hah! Almost guarantees.

Swami believes voters would rush like a stampede of crazed longhorns in the fall to vote for such a right, and then speed swiftly to the next voting booth and sign their hooves on a recall for the Guv.

Illinois is the only state in the union where voters wax poetic and longingly about the good old days of venerable burglar George Ryan. You can't long for the good old days without a good wax job.

Just think of it.

Under the proposed constitutional amendment, a recall election for state elected officials--governor, lieutenant governor, attorney general, secretary of state, comptroller or treasurer--would require petition signatures equal to 12 percent of the most recent vote total for that office.

If I'm adding right, that means it would take 418,401 signatures to put a Blago recall on the ballot. Seems like an easy call to the Swami.

To get a recall vote for a state legislator would need signatures equal to 20 percent of the turnout for that office in the most recent election.

All this obvious benefit is exactly why Swami cannot decipher the crystal ball to see if it's going to pass.

With the state of political leadership in Illinois being what it is (which is to say comatose), it would seem to require more gumption than exists these days to actually pull off this trick. But Swami has been fooled before.

We shall see.

Swami, what's the ugliest moment so far in the election process in Illinois? Anybody come off as a real toadstool? Signed: Amphibian in Antioch

Ah, where to begin, Am?

For sheer mean ignoramus-osity, we give the nod squarely to 8th District Republican congressional whizbang Steve Greenberg who has stirred up a 1,500 year blood feud by arguing his foe, Melissa Bean, is a secret friend and agent of Serbian Neo-Fascist terrorists.

Hard criticism for a woman who mostly wears pastel business suits.

He's even gone so far as to begin identifying her with her maiden name, Luburich, which has its origin in Serbia.

As with many misaimed political missiles, this one started with Bean giving Greenbrrg a small opening with a tactical mistake. Though she opposes the Prez's support for Kosovar independence (as do many of the globe's nations), Bean erred in having a fund-raising dinner at the home of the Serbian consul general in Chicago. It was his wife, an American-born lawyer of note, who was actually hosting the soiree but Greenberg leaped at Bean's throat with all fangs bared.

First of all, if you want to run for Congress, there are plenty of current wars over which to have a fist fight rather than sliding back into the goo of the Serbian-Albanian scuffle which Bill Clinton put on hold momentarily with a pre-emptive bombing run.

How ingrained is the argument? One side quotes the unfairness of the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia as a pretext for continuing hostility, for crying out loud. WESTPHALIA!

This is an argument that no one is going to settle in our lives (even though Swami is now 252 years old and has another good century-and-a-half to go), and the fact the Prez has sided with Kosovo doesn't end the dispute.

So, Bean has natural reasons to support the Serbian position and receive money from Serbian Americans.

Swami takes no side for now on the ancient, underlying dispute, but he does find it reprehensible that Greenberg calls out Bean this way: "Congresswoman Melissa Bean is flagrantly working on behalf of foreign interests, against the interests of the United States. This is an outrage and today I am asking for an investigation of Ms. Bean's activities as an agent for a foreign government."

When you call a sitting U.S. congresswoman an agent of foreign powers, that tends to get attention.

Swami's view? This as a temper tantrum by an inexperienced candidate who now senses he's not going to win the election and is casting about in the dark for any rock to throw. Desperation can be ugly.

His is a spiteful position, rife with cultural undertones and barely veiled hate talk. Remember the price for inheriting the wind.

And it doesn't help Greenberg that some of the leading conservative political practitioners are on the other side of the Serb-Kosovo issue. Greenberg hasn't called Lawrence Eagleburger a Serbian terror patsy, yet.

If Greenberg wants to debate Bean on the issue of which side in a 16-century-old conflagration is right, Swami says be our guest.

But calling someone a traitor just because they disagree with your position is a low and unbecoming tactic and, more to the point, it doesn't positively distinguish a person seeking to sit in Congress.

Swami, I'm still confused about Sen. Dick Durbin's gang roundtable this week in Waukegan. What was the point and did any good get done? Signed: Woozy in Waukegan.

Ah, where to begin, Wooz?

The senior senator's arrival in town heralded a "gang roundtable" meant to ,er, well, Swami is not quite sure. But it was one swell party.

But it did point one very necessary educational opportunity we hope Durbin and his staff (the ones who get paid to keep the senator from looking like a doofus) use to their future advantage.

Earth to Dick, Earth to Dick. News Alert!! There are gangs in Waukegan. It's a problem! Really!

These are not nice boys just waiting for a mature mentoring hand to lead them onto a better future of milk, honey and Colt 45s. Many are hard-core criminal punks. We didn't want to be the ones to break the news to you, but apparently no one else filled you in before you arrived.

So when the senior senator from Illinois expresses surprise and dismay (I'm shocked there's gambling in this establishment) when he learns they are a lot of gang-bangers in Lake County, we are just as surprised.

But we're surprised that Dick seems so numb to the facts. Read a newspaper, Dick. It would help. As for his staff? Boys, this research concept is a wonderful thing. You should try it.

OK, so not everyone pays attention to Lake County with the same attention as Swami but why show up to "lead" a "roundtable" and seem to have no idea what's going on? Durbin spent most of the event in the dark while banging his shins on the coffee table as he edged his way to the fridge. WAKE UP, AMERICA!! Oops, sorry. That's from a wholly different rant.

Durbin was ostensibly here to promote federal legislation that would add $175 very very large to the gang fight. On the other hand, this appearance doesn't do much for that debate because Durbin has to convince the U.S. House (and then the Prez) to pass the money. Everyone in the room on Tuesday was already in favor of the cash.

So what we have here is political kabuki. Mr. Dog, meet Mr. Pony. Let the show begin.

The locals already have 800 Gs to spend, though we're a little unclear what you spend such money to do and how you measure if it did any good. Wouldn't it be cheaper to pay off the gang enforcers to stay inside and not bother anyone? Hey, it's what Cease-Fire does.

Will consult crystal ball for better fiscal analysis.

Swami considers this the most amusing casting-into-the-darkness-for any- quote-that-seems-to fly from the senator: "We can't save every soul, but if we don't try it means more and more violence."

Sorry, Dick, it's not the trying thing that does good. It's the succeeding thing that really counts.

Yes, indeed, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Swami, what should a citizen think about the defeat of Jim Oberweis by Bill Foster in the Illinois 14th congressional special election on Saturday? Big deal or just another odd political occurrence in a year filled with them? Signed: Hepped up in Highland Park

Swami, I see that the vice president is coming to the Great Lakes Naval base this week. What brings him here? Is there anything sinister with his appearance? Signed: Disbarred lawyer from Deerfield

Swami, are you ever mystified by the world, or do you really understand all and see even more? I am puzzled about almost everything, but I would feel better if I knew you occasionally thrown off your game, too. Signed: Dunderheaded in Deerfield.

Swami, settle a bet for me. Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Or are you just a Democrat pretending to be a Republican, or a Re-publican pretending to be a Democrat? All of Lake County is waiting

Dear Swami, what insights do you have from this week’s primary elections? What will carry over to the fall? Is there any sign that Barack Obama would have an effect on the rest of illinois’ races? Signed, Frantic in fox Lake

Dear Swami do you understand the problem with voting in Lake County or am I only being too picky about getting my vote counted on time? Signed; Muddled in Mundelein.

Swami, now that we have yet another illegal immigrant taking up sanctuary in a Chicago church and daring immigration cops to arrest her, what should we think about this one? Isn’t enough enough. Signed Peeved in Plattville.